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The Stratford Sea Wall During "Super Storm" Sandy |
As promised, here's a field report on my Work this morning. As some of you know, I've been doing some work lately with a spirit named Kuvoah, whom I believe to be of Pequot (Algonquin) origin. He's a spirit of the Long Island Sound. I'm not sure if he's the whole Sound, or just the part near me. I can verify that he's easily contactable at the locations mapped here: http://goo.gl/maps/vitnb I'll update the map as I try different places this summer. I'm not very visual, but I understand him to be long and undine, with deep blue-green scales. I experience his presence as cold, but not in a creepy way; like stepping into the ocean on a hot day. I first me him at the pier near my house. He helped me travel during the Asulzaz working; I gave him some sushi, which he seemed to like. He asked me to promise that I would immerse myself in the Sound to mark the beginning of summer, which (since I love the beach) I readily agreed to.
Since the Asulzaz working, I've been much more sensitive than I used to be to non-corporeal things. For example, every time I look over the sound now, day or night, I see these little floating pinpricks of light. The first time, I figured it was just reflected sunlight, but they're there in the dark as well.
The last day of school was thursday (as most of you know, I teach math at a progressive Jewish HS...kabbalistic dream job!). Yesterday was all meetings, so today was my first day of summer; fitting, since it's the first day of summer. :) Shortly after I woke up, I did my morning meditation, and some chakra work. I've really been trying to get better at energy work...it does not come naturally to me; I'm not very "in touch" with my body. I ate an apple, and headed off to Lordship Beach, in Stratford, CT.
When I was a teenager, and first getting into magic, I used to dream of a stone wall, holding back the sea. There were stone steps cut into the wall, leading down, disappearing into the waves. There's a staircase like that at the beach I go to In Stratford...I sit on the steps and meditate sometimes, even when it's quite chilly. I'll take a picture for you next time I'm there.
I sat and baked in the sun for a little while, feeling its heat and light penetrate into me, clarifying me. The first time I did
Liber MMM, when I was 17 or 18, I wrote a banishing ritual where the stuff being banished was rainclouds that got burned away by the sun. I did that. In my mid-twenties, I briefly lived with a Tantric monk. (It's a long story.) He once told me that, when people compare God to the Sun, they're not saying that God is big, or powerful, or light. Like the Sun, God's radiance bathes all things equally, making no distinctions between "good" and "evil", "dark" and "light". I've had a complicated relationship, magically, with the sun, over the years, but ever since the dark, cold, hard winter I had, I've really felt the need to soak it up. (While slathered in sunscreen and old-lady hats, of course.) I "circulated the microcosmic orbit" while I sunbathed. I really like combining the two things.
I did a little more meditating. I had much trouble quieting my mind in such a boisterous place. Not only were there lots of kids and dogs, but the beach is quite close to the airport, so there's often jet noise. I had a lot of fleeting visions I don't remember; I tried to pay them little mind. After about twenty minutes of meditating, I walked to the water. At first, I just put my feet in, feeling the cold, connecting to the water. I continued the orbit. As I walked in, I tried to feel the energy/spirit/being of the water flow up my body as well. I entered the water very slowly, a few inches at a time. It was quite cold, but I also wanted to really FEEL my entry into it. When I was in up to my hips, I felt a shudder as the cold, wet energy got pulled into the orbit.
That was when I reached out for Kuvoah. I felt him, slippery and cool, slinking into my mind. It wasn't sinister at all, though perhaps I made it sound as if it was. It was refreshing and very sensual, but not at all erotic. I walked in up to my neck. Because I am so fat, I'm very buoyant so I float completely in salt water. One of the reasons I love to swim so much is the feeling of weightlessness. I've always been fat, as long as I can remember, but underwater, my body is lithe and supple, and obeys my every command. I'm a very strong swimmer, even against the currents of the Atlantic; swimming in the Sound is one of the few things (along with my job) that I really love about Connecticut.
I "sat" in lotus positon for a while, floating, with the water swelling around my shoulders. I cannot do this in normal "gravity". I did a little kundalini rising, which I've just learned to do in the last few months. Kuvoah very much liked this, and asked if he could "come along". I had never before understood what people meant when they described kundalini energy as a serpent, but I sure do now!
Kuvoah entered me. As before, it was pleasurable and very physical, but not particularly erotic. He coiled up and then swam/flew up my spine. When he reached my neck, he jumped up out of the water, and dove back down my front, like a breaching whale. It was so exciting!
I felt myself become more and more Kuvoah-like. So large and cool, ancient and quiet, somehow implacable and tempestuous at the same time. I pore-breathed in water (a technique I learned from Bardon, but really "got" when I learned it from
Jason Miller), and then I pore breathed in the Sound. I dove and swam, summersaulting and kicking both feet together, like a mermaid.
When I was young, we went to the beach every summer. Like me, my father loved to swim, although my mother hated it. On the mid-Atlantic coast where we went, the waves were very large and hard for a little girl. My father would hold me while he jumped the waves, half throwing me up in the air. When I was older, he taught me to jump them myself, putting my arms out like superman. We would go way, way out, past the breakers, and float on our backs (my father was also quite fat). Later, I would go out on my own, diving beneath the waves, swimming for hours. Sometimes I would secretly pretend I was a mermaid, even when I was way too old for that to be cute. I still do it sometimes. That's what swimming with Kuvoah was like, like being a mermaid, like my father throwing me in the air. Exciting, but completely safe.
I'm not sure how long I was in the water. Probably about an hour. After a while, I got out, drank an entire bottle of luke warm water, and went home. After I took a shower, I fell asleep almost immediately, and slept deep and dreamlessly for an hour or two. After I woke, I did some dancing, did some writing, made some dinner, and got interviewed for Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole. All in all, a lovely day.