Friday, October 19, 2012

Spirit Conjuration

People have been asking, so here's an example of a Jewish conjuration:

Eloah Elyon, You who predate the beginning and extend past the end of days, Unbegotten and Never-Ending, Unlimited and Impossible, Eternal and Omnipotent, You who moment by moment create the universe, HaMakom Olam, coextensive and transcendent,  Eheh Asher Eheh, whose Name is Being itself, Father of the Forever, Mother of the Ten Thousand Things,  Adonai Tzavaot, Elohai ha Elohim:

I beseech You to send Ophiel, Olympic spirit of Mercury to me. Let him instruct me and counsel me, providing to me all that I ask of him.   Let him appear in my mirror, speaking clearly to me, answering my questions, and granting me those favors that I ask.  

I ask only what is mine by right, by ancient covenant. I am Sara, inheritor of the line of Sarah, daughter of the house of Jacob, created in Your image.  You make me but little lower than yourself. You crown me with glory and honor. You give me dominion over all Your works.  All things are under my feet.  With all your authority do I now call: Ophiel attend to me!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Baal Shem Tov's Sleight of Hand

There is a story that says a depressed tailor came to the Baal Shem Tov and asked him how to understand the place of man in the world.  The Baal Shem Tov gave him a giant hug, said that life was beautiful and that we were meant to enjoy.  He then said that at dawn the next morning, before he even said his morning prayers, the man should check his coat pockets for an guidance. Now, the hug of the Holy Besht was a very good thing indeed, and the man went home happy.  But, as the sun set, and he went to bed alone in his cold empty house, his sadness returned.

Upon awakening, the tailor thought that the Baal Shem Tov was just a ridiculous old man.  After all, he had gone to him with a real problem, and all he had gotten was a hug!  He put on his coat, and started heading toward the Besht's house.  It was cold, and so he stuck his hands in his pockets.  In the man's right hand pocket, he found a scrap of paper, and on it was written "Compared to the Holy ONE, you are tiny mote of dust, floating in a mostly empty universe.  To the HOLY ONE, your life passes in an instant, almost before you are alive, you are dead again."

This made the man sad and angry, but in his left pocket, he found another scrap of paper.  This one said, "The Holy ONE created the entire universe, infinite space, eternal time, all for you.  You are its center, and it relies on your holy spark to continue being created."  Upon reading this, the man was satisfied, and he went back home again.  At home, he took the two pieces of paper, and read one and then the other, the second and then the first, over and over again.  He could not understand why he had been told these two seemingly incompatible things.  Eventually, he sighed, and he said in exasperation "Who needs all this hooey?  Infinity, Nothingness, it's all the same thing!  I know who I am, and only I can find my path through the world!" and at that moment, the tailor achieved enlightenment.

Soon thereafter, taking his own advice, knowing who he was, making his own path through the world, the man began to sew the most beautiful clothes he could imagine.  They were not only beautiful, but very functional, ideally suited to their every purpose.  The man's business became quite successful, and he married a beautiful fat widow who brought her three lovely children to his home.  He was happy, content in himself and his life.  Soon thereafter, the man once again met the Master of the Good Name on the street.  The Besht could see his new happiness, and asked what he had learned.  The man told him, "Why do you always spout all that claptrap about good and evil, meaning and unmeaning?  All that matters is that people enjoy the things I make, and appreciate their beauty, that my wife is content, our union is joyful, and my children are happy.  These are the things that really matter."

The Baal Shem Tov looked at him a little funny, and then said, "Yes, that's what God is always telling me too!" and then he winked at the man, spun about in a little circle, and danced off laughing to himself.

The End.

Balloon Breathing

You know how, when you first blow up a balloon, you stretch it out a couple of times first?  This exercise stretches out your "energy body" (or whatever you call it).  It's very good for when you feel tired or dejected, or as prep for other work.

Get comfortable and close your eyes.  I do is sitting down, because I sometimes get a little dizzy when I do it, but you can stand up or lie down or whatever.  Take a deep breath in making your spine very straight.  Feel your whole body fill up like a balloon; your stomach should be very round.  Breathe in and in and in until you're entirely full of air.  You'll be amazed how much more air your lungs will hold than you usually put in them.  Hold the air in for just a moment more than is comfortable, and then exhale.  Exhale as much as you can, deflating your whole body like a balloon.  Your shoulders relax and your head might dop a little.  Keep your lungs empty for just a moment, and then repeat.  

Once you've gotten a steady slow rhythm, imagine that not just your belly, but your entire body filling up, getting bigger and bigger with every inhale, and smaller and smaller with every exhale.  The goal is to shrink to a single point (like a black hole) on exhale and become infinite (bigger than the universe) on inhale, but it’s ok to just get “very small” and “very big”.  

Once you’ve gotten the hang of that (which takes quite a while), with each full-hold name yourself “Ein Sofit” (which is Hebrew for Infinity) and each time you hold-empty name yourself “Ein” (which means Nothingness).  Or, you can just name yourself in English if you don’t want to use the Hebrew.

Whenever you’re done, start taking smaller, more usual breaths, and return slowly to your regular size by naming yourself with your regular name as you breathe.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I don't normally post about non-Jewish related magic here, but I wanted to talk about the magic I did last night.

I had a giant magic flop Saturday night.  I just felt ridiculous, and I couldn't get into "the zone".  After soem soul searching, I tried something very different from what I usually do last night, and I had AMAZING results.  I made some absinthe a while ago, so I had some of that.  Then I listened to this awesome shamanic drumming mp3.  I then listened to Andrieh Vitimus' amazing "Ceremony of Power", which is very powerful; I strongly recommend it.  Then there was more drumming, and then just ocean white noise.  I've never done magic via headphones before, but I really, really liked it.  It was the most powerful shamanic vision-quest I've ever had, even compared to one with mushrooms.  I'm going to record some audio magic of my own soon.  (I'm off work yesterday and today for Sukkoth, and again next mon & tues for simchat torah, so maybe then)

It's hard for me to describe what happened, but I will try.  After working thru the Al i Shan "Ceremony of Power" ritual (seriously, if you haven't tried it, DO IT NOW!  It's a free download; it's super easy and very potent.  If you've always wanted to try magic, but didn't know how to start, do this.), I was all lit up like an electric christmas tree.

I threw my head back and light came out like at the end of the The Fifth Element.  I went swimming through the currents of the world, and turned into a giant fish.  At first, I was afraid I would drown, but of course, I didn't.  I went around eating up all the different kinds of magic.  Thelema: tasty!  Cthulhu?  a little unpleasant, but down the gullet it went.  I choked on the Sun, and had to spit it out.  It was too big for me.  But, I ate the moon all up.  It was hard, but I swallowed it, and had a giant pregnant moon belly.  Astarte taught me a dance, and a drum beat, for turning into a lion, so I prowled the jungle for a while.  I did some magic for some goals I'm not going to talk about until after they manifest.

I went chasing after a goddess named Madeline.  At first, I thought it was Mary Magdaline, but that wasn't quite right. Now, I think it might have been Madelyne Pryor, the Goblin Queen from X-Men.

I shifted through a whole lot of witch archetypes, and I settled into Pythia, the Oracle at Delphi.  Have you seen pictures of that giant prehistoric snake?  That was the Python of Delphi.  She taught me a snake dance.  Then, I met the one-armed Siberian shamaness from American Gods, and she taught me how to assume the mammoth form, which was very powerful and interesting.  This was all in the context of the root evolutionary becoming ritual from Clan of the Cave Bear (don't you judge me!)  Then, I assumed Bear form, which was kind of weird, and felt not so much like me, but still cool. I was Kitara from Avatar, the last Airbender very briefly, and then I was the Avatar Form, which seemed a lot like being Buddha, but with magic powers.

I have arranged these things as if they went in a narrative sequence, but that's not entirely right; they were all happening over and over in a sort of spiral.  Here's another way to explain it:

I started off in the primordial chaos, and Tiamat taught me to be a giant fish (or possibly a Leviathon).  Sometimes I was a river dragon instead of a fish.  I swam about eating/absorbing things, until I turned into the Great Goddess, seated on a throne.  I swallowed malkuth, and went up to the moon.  I swallowed that to.  I shot through Hod like electricity. Thoth taught me a bird-headed thing, which was weird, and my glasses kept sliding down my beak (I don't know why that wasn't a problem when I was, say, a fish...I think because Thoth Hermes is a godform I assume a lot, so it felt like my regular body).  Anyhow, I got to Netzach, which was pleasant and sticky and sexy and wet.  I spent some time there. I tried the Sun again, but Jesus was there, and that freaked me out, and I choken again, and had to spit the Sun out.  It was too big for me to swallow.  This happened several times.  After a while, I realized that I didn't have to worship Jesus, I had to be him, which was less threatening, but getting crucified seemed like it would suck, so I spit that out again.

The next time up, I tried calling him Buddha instead of Jesus, and that was better, but still problematic.  It was the pointy-hat Indian Buddha, not the round curls or the fat one.  (And that is the extent of my familiarity with the Eastern mysteries).  I thought to ask Ganesh to open to way for me, which sort of helped.  I realized that, fuck Jesiu, fuck Buddha, I'm Jewish, and so I just opened the gates of Tiphereth the way Abulafia taught me to.  There I learned that all the gods are One, and they're all me, which seemed more profound and less like New Agey drivel at the time.  Anyhow, I finally managed to choke down the Sun, and I swallowed it.  The Angel of Tipheret (who looked suspiciously like Milla Jovavitch in the Fifth Element) taught me how to make a Gate of the Sun potion (recipe coming soon).  I owe Andrieh a bottle for his awesome Ceremony, which I've used before.  I got good results before, but nothing so amazing as last night.

Then I did some magic, which I intentionally forgot.  I remember it flying away like a butterfly.  Then I got kind of queasy.  I called to Brian to come help me, but he wasn't anywhere (well, actually it turns out he was on the porch, but it seemed like he was no where).  I stumbled to the bathroom and threw up a little, which was lame, but then I rewound time, so that didn't actually happen (which made sense at the time).  Brian finally showed up and helped me to bed.  I just wanted to sleep, but there was one last thing.  Pythia came again, and gave me an important prophecy, which I can't talk about, and I hope isn't true.  I guess we'll see soon.

I slept for a really long time (about 10 hours).  I'm still feeling weirdly disconnected from my body, and not fully grounded, which is not unpleasant, but not very productive either.  Eating is a very sensual pleasure right now.  I wasn't up for cooking, but Brian made me some ramen and peas, and they were the best things ever.

So, there you go.  Magical field report.