Fuck It All, and Fucking No Regrets

A Tashlikh and Hatarat Nedarim ritual from the Pillar of Smoke 

(with some poetical inspiration cribbed from William Butler Yeats)

Purpose: At the end of the rite, each participant is freed from any and all ritual vows or oaths she has made in the last year.  This includes, but is not limited to, vows made to oneself, vows made to other people, vows made to non-human beings, and vows made to G-d.  If there are vows you do not want to abrogate (like marriage vows, for example), be sure to keep them in mind during the performance.

Preliminary considerations:  For best results, you’ll need at least four Jews (but not everyone needs to be Jewish), a natural body of water, and a patch of dirt for this ritual, but it can be modified however you feel is right.  Each person should have a green apple, a red magic marker, and a piece of matzoh left over from Passover.  Pick the most lovely, shiny, symmetric apples you can find.  If you can’t assemble all of those things, just make do.  (sharing markers, in our experience, makes the ritual tedious, assemble as many as you can lay hands on.  it's not vital that they be red)

While traditional practitioners may disagree, we think this ritual works great anytime between from the beginning of Rosh Hashannah until just before Yom Kippur begins. It’s important to pick a warm, bright day when it is pleasant to be outside.  It’s better to skip this ritual, or modify it to be indoors (perhaps by burning the matzoth instead?) than to do it in weather that makes it no fun.  As written, there’s a leader, but that’s just for logistics.   Anyone can read any part.

The Rite:

Leader:  In your hands, you hold the Bread of Affliction.  It was the Bread of Slavery in the House of Bondage, and it is now the Bread of Obligation.  With your words of red, it becomes all oaths, all sin, all regret.  On Rosh Hashannah, the anniversary of creation, you were each created anew, released of all bonds, all vows, all oaths.  Whatsoever oath you renounce, whatsoever sin you regret, whatsoever it is you cast off, write it on the Bread of Obligation.

Wait until everyone is done writing.

Leader:  Inheritor of a Breathing World, we call you into Supernal Beauty.  Break your bonds, and feed the waters of liberation!  Like the tree that sheds its leaves, let go of those things that can no longer nourish you.  Like the serpent that sheds its skin, wriggle free from anything that holds you back.  As you throw these things into the living water, know that you pledge nothing, are bound by nothing, are bathed in Nothing, awash in the Wild Dark.  Repeat!”

Participants should break their matzoh, throw the pieces into the water, and say: 

Each:  “I pledge nothing.  I am bound by nothing.  I am bathed in Nothing.  As I say it, so do I become.”

When everyone is done, hand out the apples.  No one should have an apple while anyone else (including the leader) still has matzah.

Leader:  In your hands, you hold the Fruit of Life.  It was the Fruit of Paradise in days gone by, and it is now the Fruit of Hope. With its seeds, it becomes all resolutions, all goals, all hopes.  On Rosh Hashannah, the anniversary of creation, we are all created anew, infused with infinite potential.  Whatsoever resolution you make, whatsoever goal you pledge yourself to, whatsoever hope you cherish, whisper it to your apple as you eat. 

Wait until everyone has eaten their apple.  (It's ok not to eat the whole thing, but unless you can't it's best to take at least a bit.  If someone can't eat apples, use a different fruit.  If apples won't grow where you live, use a different fruit that will.)

Leader:  Wanderers in the Wild Darkness, you have stepped into the Boundless Light.  Plant your seeds.  Like the tree that aches for the sky, your hope grows strong.  Like the rain that lusts for the silent earth, your goals are met in joy.  Light without Limit pierces the veil, and you are enlightened.  Take the boundless light and hang Stars of Glamor in the Dark.

Leader: Hakol yihtu muttarim lach, hakol mechulim lach, hakol sheruyim lach.  May everything be permitted to you; may everything be forgiven you; may everything be allowed you.  Repeat!

wait for people to repeat

All: Nothing is true.  Everything is permitted.  Selah and Amen.

Everyone plants her/his seeds.  When everyone is done, join hands, spin and laugh until dizzy and exhausted.  Note: spinning and laughing is NOT OPTIONAL.  It’s what seals the Work.